The call to rest

I have spent much of my Christian life asking the Lord what work he wants me to do, what burden he wants to lay on me, when in actuality he wants to give me rest. 

When I was in the hospital - experiencing psychosis - it was rest that saved me. Owing to the Holy Spirit, I remembered that Jesus slept during the storm. And so, when it seemed to me that I was in the pit of hell, I followed but one example, and it was Jesus who slept during the storm. Ever since then, the main thing which the Lord has kept from me is work, and for me, life without work has been the most humiliating experience. Life hasn’t been worth living since then. 

I’ve been meditating on the fact that Jesus sleeps during the storm.

35 On that day, when evening had come, he said to them, ‘Let us go across to the other side.’ 36 And leaving the crowd behind, they took him with them in the boat, just as he was. Other boats were with him. 37 A great gale arose, and the waves beat into the boat, so that the boat was already being swamped. 38 But he was in the stern, asleep on the cushion; and they woke him up and said to him, ‘Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?’ 39 He woke up and rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, ‘Peace! Be still!’ Then the wind ceased, and there was a dead calm. 40 He said to them, ‘Why are you afraid? Have you still no faith?’ 41 And they were filled with great awe and said to one another, ‘Who then is this, that even the wind and the sea obey him?’

-Mark 4:35-41

That passage seems so offensive to me, because I cannot comprehend that my Lord wants me to rest. The disciples took Jesus’ rest as an indication that he did not care about what was going on in the world. Have you ever felt as though the Lord is indifferent to your crisis? Does his silence offend you? We tend to do quite a bit of mental gymnastics to escape the reality that Jesus was truly asleep. He wasn't pretending to sleep, peaking every now and then to determine whether the disciples have suffered enough. It wasn't some grand plan to expose the disciples for their unbelief. Such speculation robs you of true belief, and therefore of your blessing. Our Lord was asleep for that is what the scriptures say. We must be careful not to inadvertently make Jesus a manipulator.

Internally, I suffer the same disposition as the disciples, as I learned somewhere that rest was an enemy of faith. But no, Jesus exhibits something so deeply offensive to me when he sleeps during the storm, he rests. Rest appears to be the height of faith.

28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

- Matthew 11:28-30

At first glance, this seems contradictory for the scripture also says “Faith without works is dead”. James 2:18 says

“You have faith, and I have works.” Show me your faith without works, and I will show you faith by my works.”

But could it be said, that rest is a work of faith. It is perhaps the ultimate work of faith, to rest in Jesus. 

“You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord himself, is the Rock eternal.”

‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭26‬:‭3‬-‭4‬ ‭NIV‬‬